my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
