Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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