when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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