I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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