Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
