When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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