twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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