What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
