Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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