if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
