I got chris browned last night
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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