shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
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