You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize