think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
