my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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