Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
