make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
