is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
His hands were made for my vagina.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
