I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
