you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
