Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
