ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
