You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
