Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
