i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize