'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
