i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
