If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
