ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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