Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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