so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
