My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So many bounce houses so little time
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
