so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
