I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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