I need help removing her.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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