no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize