toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
