I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
