playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
