names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
