Too much gin, very little bucket
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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