Define "chronic" masturbator.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize