Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
