**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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