All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize