I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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