I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize