Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
the raccoons are back...
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