Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
