there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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