Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
