bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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