I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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