return my video game
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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