Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
