Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
