remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
