if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
