so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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