I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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