Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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